How the Biggest Horror Movie Icons Would Spend a Night in Vegas
October 5, 2018
It’s almost Halloween weekend in Las Vegas! Should we approach it the same way we always do? Or should we ask that timeless, priceless question: What would Michael Myers do?!
Then again, how would Pennywise see the Strip? Would Jason hit the blackjack table, or is he more of a craps guy? These are the questions we have all eternally wondered–until today. Because today, we have the answers.
How would the biggest horror movie icons spend a night in Vegas? Let’s find out!
Jason Cuts Through the Strip On a Monday
Jason, being a bit of a wild card, spends the daylight hours at Lake Mead, occasionally taking a dip and emerging from the water to scare a family of 5. But, being a 70-something with a bad back, Jason decides to save murder for a rainy day in favor of Bingo. After a few good games, he heads to Tacos El Gordo, where he insists on cutting his own Carne Asada. Jason, being a big hockey fan and all, continues the night by hitting Lagasse’s Stadium. There, he demands that the bartender put on ESPN Classic. He watches the Western Conference Champion Vegas Golden Nights in Game 5 against the Jets, before being asked to leave for using all the bar’s straws to sip his Bloody Mary.
Feeling a bit down, Jason heads to the Sin City Halloween Parade. There, he earns praise for his uber-realistic costume. He gives the headless horseman’s horse bad directions but redeems himself during a “knife dance” demonstration.
Jason then heads to the Golden Nugget in Downtown Las Vegas, where he bets away all the money he steals from a body he… finds near the valet stand. Jason spends all his time at the slots after being denied the chance to show off his poker face, to finish off his Vegas Halloween weekend.
Kids Eat Free–Even The Grady Twins!
Original Photo: https://www.grindhousetherapy.com/the-shinings-haunting-grady-twins-then-and-now/
While not ‘icons’ in the traditional Halloween sense, their scene from Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining is one of the most iconic in modern cinema. How would the 10-year-old Grady twins spend a night in Vegas? Well, they start by pre-grubbing at any area restaurant where kids eat free. And when they aren’t able to eat free, they do so anyway. Because, well, according to Miller’s Ale House regular Cal Smith, “Those kids are scary. What is it about these games? Where is their mother?”
They eventually make their way to Zak Bagans’ The Haunted Museum. They are mistaken as part of a new exhibit and enter without paying admission. After gleefully walking from room to room, they eventually stop at the infamous Dybbuk box, a vintage wine cabinet known as the world’s most haunted object. They are escorted after breaking it into pieces with an axe.
Then, as the day turns to night, they dust off their old blue dresses for a night out. But, to even their own surprise, they spend most of the night holding hands and walking up and down the hallways of The Flamingo, scaring people half to death in the process. They demand that everyone play with them forever, but most people just can’t be bothered with an eternity of childish games, so most folks move on, leaving them to their own devices. That is, aside from the bellhop, Danny. After forcing him to push them on his cart for six hours, they scamper off to watch the Fountains of Bellagio and pester the costumed characters on the Strip–namely Tweety Bird.
Michael Myers Gets Kicked out of Axe Hole for Throwing a Knife
Original Photo: https://www.dravenstales.ch/en/slashers-day-off-a-killer-vacation/
Michael, the OG of Halloween, starts his day at the laundromat and then heads to Downtown Vegas for a night out–but not before stopping by Rick Harrison’s Gold & Silver Pawn Shop to shop for a new knife. After struggling to find anyone that can keep up with his walking pace, he finds a group of pub crawlers. Michael near-immediately gets into an argument that ends in a coat closet at Fremont Hotel & Casino.
Michael then loses and/or disposes of his fast-walking crew and heads to AMC’s Fear the Walking Dead Survival exhibit, where he supposedly knifes a few zombies. The white-masked man, with his fondness for death and eye for damsels in a state of pure panic, heads to Zombie Burlesque at Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino.
After a long day of Vegas fun, Michael heads over to Axe Hole to throw sharp objects around groups of people. When his axes are taken from him, he throws his knife… which lands in a man dressed as Freddy Krueger. This earns him a much-needed timeout in the back of a Las Vegas Police squad car.
Samara Morgan Goes to the Salon
Better known as ‘the girl from the ring,’ Samara Morgan heads to Vegas for a day of rest, relaxation, and rejuvenation. After spending all week in a deep, oily well, her first stop has to be the Curl Up & Dye hair salon. She has about 19 inches of filthy locks cut from her milky scalp. The salon owner spends hours cleaning the hair from the floor as Samara giggles, joyously. Being a silver screen queen, Samara heads to an area bar to catch up on the news. Frustrated about the state of the world, she decides to change all TVs to her channel, rewarding the bar patrons with a 7-day death sentence.
Samara, starved for attention, heads to 1 OAK Nightclub at the Mirage, where there’s rumored to be a contest. She finds just what she’s looking for. She makes it to the final round of 1 Oak’s halloween contest. Her competition? None other than Rapunzel, with her dreadfully perfect locks. Samara wins, but is denied of the championship purse when she fails to present identification. This results in a tug-o-hair battle, seemingly without end.
Now it’s betting time! She crawls across Las Vegas Boulevard and to one of the nearest sportsbook locations in Vegas. Minutes later, bored of winning and desperate for attention, she crawls through–and emerges out of–one of the many screens, dropping well slop on all the bystanders before returning to her suite at The Venetian, where she sips champagne and washes her worries away, and down the drain, of a bubble bath.
Pennywise Has a Ball(oon) by the Pool
Pennywise, being a total clown, walks up and down the Strip with his famed red balloon. Nobody comes near him, not even the other clowns. Frustrated, he heads to Circus Circus Las Vegas, where he devours Sex on the Beach cocktails by the pool. Pennywise is eventually escorted for attempting to summon all pool goers to the deep end, promising they’ll all float with the help from a massive inflatable paper boat raft.
Wise as he is, the clown heads to Caesars Palace, where he violently throws pennies into the fountains to improve his luck. Once penniless, he heads to the high stakes, Caesars Palace poker room and approaches a table of frat guys. They order craft beers to the table, urging the clown to play a few hands with their money. Pennywise owns the table, mainly because nobody will look at him. He wins thousands of dollars and come daybreak, finds himself getting booted from the rooftop pool of the Cosmopolitan. Instead of haunting children’s dreams, he decides to live the dream instead, starting the next day by floating down the lazy river at MGM, balloon in tow.
Where did the others go? Was Chuckie hanging out in a Claw Machine again? Find out for yourself this Halloween 2018 in Vegas. Just watch out for those twins.